Introducing JavaScript Functions and Loops

Today, you will learn about functions from a man who can barely function, because it is 8:48 in the morning and my soda has yet to kick in. I would say wait for it, but I know you are so excited to read the rest of this article that you can't function. And if you can't function, and I can't function, how is JavaScript gonna function? Well, you'll have to keep reading to find out.