The Ubiquitous Bastardization of ORM

The more third party and open source ORM (object relation mapping) "solutions" I look at, the more disgusted and down-hearted I become. You may think, "What's this guy's problem? He doesn't have to use ORM tools he doesn't like." Well, while that's technically true, because of popularized ORM tools that completely miss the mark, there's large part of the developer community making messes and approaching problems the wrong way.